McSticky!

     Sean. 29, 6'5, works in TV.

    Of course, I'm new to this whole scene, and Sean was the first one to contact me with a witty, sweet email telling me how much he enjoyed my profile ... and how beautiful I am - although not totally my type, but I figured why not give it a swirl.

     So we began emailing, then progressed to AIM, and finally, calling.  Now I need to make this clear from the start: I have a thing about voices.  I,  like most women, like a man with a deep voice. So, to put it lightly, I  was nervous. Oh, but he passed! Great voice, however not as witty on the phone.  I figured maybe he was nervous as well.  He began texting me every morning on my way to work saying, "Good Morning Beautiful." What woman wouldn't eat this up?!  We decided to make dinner plans. Isabella and I went shopping for my first online dating outfit!

     Now Sean doesn't have a car, so I figured the first meeting would be by him.  He wanted to go to a family-style chain restaurant. The place was so loud I couldn't even hear myself think. I arrived in my new outfit and was ready!

     Now mind you,  I'm only 5'0, so I knew there would be a slight height difference, but I figured he could always reach the top shelves and I can get the bottoms. Even trade! Well, he was build like a line backer and honestly looked like he was kidnapping me rather than dating me.  But he was sorta cute and I remembered all the sweet emails and texts, so the date continued.

Brownie Points

• He held the door
• He complimented me right away
• Paid for dinner

Brownie Points removed

• He asked me to smell him (wanted me to check of the cologne he wore special for the night)
• He asked to smell me by grabbing my arm  (OK so i'm not out with Mr. Smooth!)
• He made reference that his Mom was so excited that he was going out with me and she thought I was really pretty (First Date: Really Mom should not know about me ... and if you are that close to your Mom, don't tell me you talked about me already)
• He told me that his parents are going to wait up for him so they can meet me (SERIOUSLY did Mom pick out the China Patterns yet?)
• He watched the game throughout dinner (the TV was above my head). Granted I wanted to watch the game too.  That could of be our date -- beer and the game -- but he wanted dinner.
• He asked me if I was planning to have a drink cause he wanted to make sure he had enough cash (please understand I'm the more laid back non-high maintenance woman but that made me feel very uncomfortable!)
• He texted me when I went to the bathroom! (Was he worried I snuck out the bathroom window?  I tried; there weren't any)

And the date continues ...

Dinner was over but I still had hopes -- either that or I'm a moron who likes punishment! We decided to go for coffee.

Brownie Points

• He fed my coffee addiction

Brownie Points removed

• He texted me when I was 10 feet from him (does he have a quota of texts to meet a day?) 

     At this point the conversation is dull, but his still very sweet ... I need my head examined, I'm aware. Thinking back, I should've ealized that I wasn't feeling it after the barista was flirting with me and I clearly flirted back.  HEY! Stop judging me.  I didn't give him my number.  It was innocent! 

     Clearly Sean noticed the flirting and requested we go to a near by park.  I wanted to drop him off and go home. However I agreed to walked to a nearby park where I began the best performance of my life.  Ladies you know! "YAWWWNNNN,  Oh my I'm so tried."  Not sure if he was going to fall for this routine since I was lugging a bucket of coffee in hand.  After about 50 yawns -- he was either clueless or selfish -- he finally says, "Are you tried?" I informed him that I had to get up early and we should really call it a night.  I didn't want his parents waiting up too long.  

Brownie points removed 

• After failed attempt to try and kiss me, he tried 3 more time (SERIOUSLY!) 
• He invited me in to meet his parents (SERIOUSLY!) 

     After this wonderful evening,  I was done, however I started to think maybe I should give him a second date.  He was a really nice guy and I don't want to throw a good fish away.  Maybe it was just an off night.   We continued to text and call, but it was becoming a bit much.  I was on a major deadline and under a lot of pressure at work.  He texted me,  and I explained how busy I was and I would talk to him after work.  I guess I wasn't clear enough. He proceeded to text me ten more times with stupidity.  I finally turned my phone off.   After my commute home, I realized I forgot my phone was off. When I turned it on, I would've thought   I walked thought airport security with an AK-47 on my back.  Twenty texts and six voice mails later, I realized this is not going to work! McSticky was born.  I politely informed him, "Sorry, work is too crazy for me to invest time in a relationship" and I ran for the hills.

     Back to the web I went -- hoping this was only a rough start. If not, I'm going to start investing in litter and checking animal shelters for cats! 

Background

     Where to begin? ...

     Well I caved --  I started online dating.  I was never a fan and to be honest, I didn't believe it could work.  However, my best friend Isabella had other plans for me.  She took it upon herself to make me a profile on the site that matches for you (not sure I should mention the name and I can't check with my legal department since my dog hasn't made it though law school --  yet another lazy bastard!). Needless to say, I was angry.  OK angry is an understatement. The only reason I refrained from killing her was, knowing my luck, the judge would of been happily married and did the same thing to her daughter. Also, I don't look good in stripes and I haven't watched enough CSI episodes to know how to clean up a crime scene. Although I did wonder if my lawyer could get a jury of my peers ... 12 single chicks would agree with me. 

      After I removed my hands from around Isabella's neck and stopped avoiding her "I'm sorry, I just want you to be happy" calls, I thought about it.  Who said I wasn't happy? Why is it that all married people swear single people can't be happy? Granted yes, I would like a relationship, but not for the sake of having one just so I can check a box or file a joint income tax return.

     I folded to the pressure and just to see maybe my Prince Charming hasn't found me because he's been looking online.  I made a profile (not using Isabella's on principle ... and I also went on a different site).  I spent hours trying to figure out what to write. Really how in the hell do I sum up who I am and sound amazing and interesting in a paragraph?  I wasn't going to post a picture. I mean people who know me can see me. I didn't want that nor did I want someone shallow. 

     Umm ... that lasted a week. I realized I would not even glance at a guy's profile if it did not have a picture.  Am Ii shallow? No, just realistic. OK maybe shallow a little, oh shhh you know you agree.
  
     After going though all my pictures trying to find the one where I look my best, good smile, the oh wait I don't like my hair in that one, good hair oh wait i have a double chin there - I found one and posted.  

     I started online dating on the down low.  None of my friends or family knew of my secret life.  I was not ready to come out of the closet.  Seriously, I talked so much trash about it and here I am on a dating website. I knew the remarks and the comments I would get.  But I had a plan.  I would meet the man of my dreams, erase my profile, him and I would make up a funny story how we met, and live happily ever after and no one would be wiser. 

     Well my plan back fired when I started being a lot busiee.  Listen I wasn't a hermit -- it's just that for a while i put my job first. I figured if I don't have anyone to come home to why not spend the extra hour or two at the office.  Plus as you get older (I just shuddered) your circle gets smaller. Most of my friends are in relationships or married and there is only so many times you want to be the third wheel! Questions started to arise: Where are you? What do you mean you have plans? Why aren't you answering my calls?  What do you mean you missed Law and Order this week?  Isabella was the first to figure out something was up.  Damn being friends with someone for 25 years; you simply can't lie to them.  

     She was excited; it was as if I told her I won the lottery and I was going to split it with her. She wanted all the details.  So she came over wine and pizza in hand ... and we began to search out my prince charming.  I swear after a while I felt like I was used car shopping.  Nope too many miles; nope too many accessories; nope not enough miles. Granted,  a couple sparked my interest, however I'm used to playing hard to get. How the hell do you play hard to get on a dating site?  So I looked at profiles but i wouldn't dare email or flirt first. Well, it must've worked since Sean contacted me.  

And so it starts....

     So here I am blogging Didn't think I would be at this again (yes, again ... I once had an advice column). Then again, I didn't think I would be single at 30 either! However a wonderful non-single friend Roxy recommended I start a page.  She felt that I needed to "share my wonderful experiences" (do you feel the tone?!) of being single, dating, 30 ,and living in the city.  OK, before all you non-single people out there who are gasping for air and looking for an oxygen tank start throwing a pity party or thinking I have the plauge -- relax and just enjoy the ride .. and be thankful you have found your Prince Charming!
     Just as a warning: I will be changing names to protect the non-innocent!